Wednesday, August 1, 2007
How to Kiss – 101
I was reading on a magazine last nite on Harry Potter’s and Cho Chang’s first on-screen kiss and I was thinking, do people know how to kiss as naturally as they know how to breathe? Or whatever we know is what we imitate off our parents or uncles and aunties when they kissed us when we were kids. Or were there How to Kiss – 101 classes out there which I must have missed in college or Uni?
The internet, being so great must have some guidelines on how to do it right. And sure enough, when I searched, there were many sites on How to kiss. There was on particular one which caught my attention coz it gave step by step procedures on what to do. It even ended with the last step as to what not to do.
The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge. Once you have assessed the situation and a kiss is imminent, the next thing is timing and approach.
Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.
1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you; you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partner’s body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.
2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you."
3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. Meet your partner halfway. Begin to pucker the lips by bringing them together, pushing them out, and applying just a faint hint of suction on your closed mouth to bring the cheeks slightly in.
4. At this point, you can either keep your eyes open or close your eyes, though if you are nervous, closed could help avoid the deer in the headlights look of fear.
5. Your lips come to a full pucker position. They are soft, but not floppy. They can be fully formed and firm, but certainly not hard. This is an ambiguous state for any solid to be in - but these are your lips were talking about here - they can handle it!
6. Make contact with your partner’s lips.
7. If this is your first kiss, you don't want to linger too long, but you also don't want to just peck them and retreat. Count "one-one thousand, two-one thousand" in your head before relaxing the pucker in your lips and beginning to pull your head away. You can hold the kiss like this for longer, but after 5 seconds or so should start think about ending this kiss. If you would like to keep kissing after that you can always lean in again and follow up the first kiss with a second, third or fourth kiss.
8. Remember to breathe through the kiss. It's all right to hold your breath for a short kiss, but for longer ones you are going to have to breathe while you are kissing. Since your mouth is occupied, you are going to have to use your nose. Just breathe normally and continue on with the kiss.
9. To end the kiss begin to lighten the pressure your lips are applying to your partners' and relax your puckered lips. As your lips relax they will separate and a small amount of air will be sucked into your mouth. This will create the kissing noise, or "smack" that is identified with a kiss.
10. At this point contact with your partner's lips has ended and its time to start thinking about giving them a little space and time to reflect about what just happened. Move your head back slowly and begin to relax the muscles around your mouth. You can keep your eyes closed for a bit as you revel in the kiss and slowly return to your normal un-extended position.
Easy hor. Now I know why I have been slobbered, pecked, hit, suckered on.. coz most of us did not receive the manual on the proper way of doing it heehee.
There is this last bit here on HOW NOT TO KISS, which I feel is the most important part of the entire lesson..
• try to suck the face off of your partner. Kissing is exciting, and there can certainly be an urge to latch on and suck, but try to resist, as it will probably upset your partner.
• force your tongue onto the scene. The right time to use your tongue while kissing will present itself after a few kisses, a few minutes or a few days. Forcing it too early or being aggressive with your tongue before you or your partner is ready is not a good idea.
• kiss your partner with a mouth full of saliva. Remember to swallow excess spit before locking lips with your partner. While this is more of a problem with French kissing, if the saliva were to somehow find its way out of your mouth during a regular kiss, it could be problematic.
• kiss with bad breath or fuzzy teeth. Practice good oral hygiene before kissing and take a second to think about whether or not your lips and mouth are a nice environment to kiss. It's true that kissing someone who has eaten onions or garlic can be pungent - so watch out for kisses after meals, but often if both partners have had the same thing to eat neither of them will mind very much.
• miss your partner's face or misalign and hit noses. It's not the end of the world if this happens, but a simple turn of the head or glance to make sure you are properly aligned can help you avoid this potentially embarrassing situation.
• don't run into trouble with braces. Locking braces, cutting your partner, or just clashing metal is a real danger when you or your partner have braces. Kiss gently when you have braces and take special care not to link your braces onto theirs. Kissing with braces is most definitely possible and having them shouldn't keep you from being a great kisser.
For more detail write-up on this topic, then please refer to this site for what I have here is only an excerpt of it. http://www.instructables.com/id/SR9ZJWBF1B3RCTD/
For the entire thing to be more experiential, then play this video clip, quite interesting and humorous.