One Line Humor

Seeing that it is a Thursday and the weekend is just around the corner, lets prepare for it with some one liners. Here goes :)

1) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving

2) Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee

3) Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband! (must have been spoken by the wife lol)

4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash :(

5) A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you have purchased new school uniforms

6) Don't feel bad. A lot of people have not talent too

7) Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you chose to do, you'll still regret it later

8) You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it

9) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote (wait, I got to think about this one)

10) Laziness is nothing more than a habit of resting before you get tired

11) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway...

12) My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me

13) Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others

14) Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner

15) A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person

16) You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them

17) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends op with the same boss

18) Real friends are the ones who survives transitions between address books

19) Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you

20) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

21) They all our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

22) Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thougt of long live will never come

23) Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

24) Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary. What should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

25) It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, is suicide better or being murdered

26) There is only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it (awwwww)

27) There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it

A great Thursday everyone :)